Monday 28th September 4.00pm

Monday 28^th 4.00pm

I've been walking the mascot on some hills above the sea, looking down as it's grey/green flat calm surface, and though it's late, I'm rushing to catch a train, it's cold, I'm on my own, it's about to rain, I can't resist stopping at Burton on the way home for the plunge. I leave the mascot in the car as she's not always reliable if I'm on my own (I remember looking back from the water once, to check she wasn't mauling any children/stealing fishermen's sandwiches, and she'd got hold of my t-shirt and was tossing it into the air, letting it fly down the beach and then pouncing on it, much to the amusement of her audience). I change as quickly as I can and try not to catch anyone's eye as I prance down the beach, feeling ridiculous in my bikini. I have to run and dive just out of embarrassment. But it's FANTASTIC. So still and warm, I paddle along revelling in the perfection. I float for a bit listening to the silver tinging of what I think must be fish snapping their tails close by – surely not? I'm in for a while before backstroking slowly shoreward. A spaniel on the beach catches sight of me and literally does a double take, staring in unconcealed horror and bemusement, before standing square and barking furiously. It's owner "Tess! TESS!" is laughing but flustered, probably in sympathy with the confusion of her charge, so I dive underwater to do some pearl diving, and when I come up the spaniel has forgotten me and let itself be caught. I've got to get out though I can't bear to, and stand up to my shoulders for a bit, feeling dizzy and discombobulated from the floating.

I struggle back into my clothes, my trousers filled with grains of agonisingly scratchy sand and proudly stalk back to my car, where out of sight and to my shame, I have to put the heater on…..